Happy New Year Dead Blog Part Dos!

Well, hello there pallys! This blog hasn’t been updated since 2010, but that’s OK for marketing purposes. No, it’s not really, but I’m not selling you anything.

My last blog post was titled “Happy New Year Dead Blog!” because I hadn’t updated it in a while. I gave some interesting predictions in 2010, off the top of my head, which I still think are kind of interesting now. However, therefore, please do note, since I have aggressively focused on eCommerce for the past three years, I think this blog may start to discuss what I’ve learned after processing thousands of orders (by myself) and what that entails to prospective eCommerce entrepreneurs. (Seems to be all the rage now.) Or you may just find a “Happy New Year Dead Blog Part Tres!” post next year.

Firstly, I’d like to point out for you dorks that I hadn’t updated the WordPress software for this blog in three years. I just now backed up the database (20 MB so at least I did blog a little) and I upgraded, and everything went fine! Although the Pacers told me a couple years ago that my site was blacklisted with their weirdo software, I am hoping you don’t get a virus from reading this right now. (I am not liable for any damage to your computer, software, or brain.)

So back to 2010… Here were my predictions of what would happen in the near future,  my commentary about my Amazing Kreskin predictions and what’s happening now:

• Personalized search results are going to mess up SEO guys.
  I think this kind of came true, except that necessary Google updates messed up SEO guys far more than personalized search results. We saw major hits to SERPs due to Penguin and Panda Google updates, and it was the right thing to do. I have never put effort into getting backlinks, links on other sites, however you want to call it, and it looks like I was an Angel in Google’s eyes. None of my business sites have been penalized at all due to Google SEO updates. Just be yourself and talk about what’s important. If you’re good, Google will like you. And it really has worked for me for the past couple of decades!
• Social Media ninjas are going to keep designing more websites to afford their throwing star habit.
  I think I was right on the money with this Amazing Kreskin prediction, and the Amazing Kreskin himself didn’t even whisper this into my ear. I’m not going to elaborate because it’s not worth the dumb argumentative comments from broke and defensive social media dudes. There is money to be made now with large corporations who don’t get it, are too afraid, or lazy to do it on their own, but even these big social media marketing companies are buying up other companies so they can be more relevant. You need to market everything to help someone, not just market a Twitter account.
• More businesses will realize they need an eCommerce site to sell to the masses, or make it easier for their existing customers (or themselves.)
  This prediction was 100% dead on and I have experienced it first hand with all of the competition I have now. Anyone want to buy my crystal ball? I was all by myself in my niche with the eCommerce World three to five years ago and now it’s a rat race to try to take some of Amazon’s pie. And Amazon has a lot of pie. Sweet cherry pie.
• People are hopefully going to start creating multiple Twitter accounts for their different businesses, ideas, hobbies, etc . . . so they don’t dilute their brands / main identity.
  I think I was right about this, too. I have lost count of the Twitter accounts I have for different eCommerce sites and brands, but I think even regular normal people have also done this so they can keep followers for their main twitter account, but also have a twitter account about their passion which they tweet about too much. I did the same thing four years ago.
• I think 2010 may be the year for WordPress MU with normal WP install, but this seems kind of like the Mac Tablet rumors.
  I was ahead of the curve on this. Or in other words, I was wrong. I could spend a lot of time searching the Google to prove that I was right, but I think it happened a year or two later. However, I am still surprised that I had the hindsight to suggest WordPress and WordPress MU would be one and the same. They are now. And I’m surprised that I was so gung-ho about it back then that I still haven’t even found a good reason to now try out multiple WordPress websites with the same installation, but that’s for another blog post maybe next year, or three years after now.
• Consumers will finally get sick of AT&T service and iPhone battery life and slowly migrate to new and better phones.
  Ugh, you dumb consumers! I didn’t take into account the grandfathering of unlimited data plans, which is the only reason I am still with AT&T. When Verizon announced that they would soon discontinue their unlimited data plans, I knew in my heart of hearts that I should switch to Verizon, but I still had a contract with AT&T and was too cheap at the time to make the bold move. I am still mad while I am typing this.
• Due to all the fake money we have printed, there will be major inflation and President Obama will be known as the next Jimmy Carter.
  I also didn’t take into account the government’s master plan of being able to do anything they want, and take way too much tax money from me, but The Amazing Kreskin tells me this will still happen in the near future. And I surely believe him.
• Mister Rogers Neighborhood will no longer be on the air after 2010, and our children will not be able to watch real television – and I’m not talking about Reality TV.
  Ding Ding Ding! PBS discontinued the Mister Rogers Neighborhood for nearly all markets in the USA except for the weekends, which I’m not sure they even do now. This is really sad, but to cheer you up, I suggest you check out Mister Rogers & Me.
• The Indiana Pacers will let many contracts expire and start all over with the young guys.
  Of any and all points I predicted, this is the one I am most happy about. Your Indiana Pacers are currently 13-1 and probably headed to the NBA Finals. I am nearing my 200th Pacers Home Game in row, that means I haven’t missed a single home game in over four seasons, and those dumb games with Coach JOB makes it all worthwhile.
• Andy Kaufman will finally announce that he is alive, tour the country and wrestle women. It will be phenomenal.
  I was so close with this. Just this month, nearly every news media outlet reported that Andy Kaufman may still be alive. I won’t elaborate on this, but because they reported it, he came back alive to you and your amigos and that’s all that Andy would’ve wanted.

Stay tuned next month for my 2014 predictions! I’m surely going to be right more than I’m wrong if history repeats itself. (And I just need to make one more phone call to my pally Kreskin.)